Take Care of Yourself

Ways in which we as women abandon and betray ourselves and how to heal it

As women, we often betray and abandon ourselves thinking it’s love, righteousness or caring. However there is nothing loving, caring or righteous about harming yourself even when it is well intentioned. We have been conditioned to believe we should deny, betray or abandon ourselves in order to receive love. Some ways in which we abandon ourselves that we may not be aware of:

- Not acknowledging an emotion or situation and allowing it you teach you. We often repress or bypass our emotions, or allow someone else to invalidate them. Emotions and situations in life are messengers, get the message and learn the lesson. -Doing something when we’re too tired, stressed, do not have capacity, afraid of what people may say, do not want to hurt someone’s feelings or out of obligation. If there is no compulsion in religion, then let’s not place so many unnecessary expectations on ourselves to meet impossible standards. The next person is responsible for their feelings and actions, and you are responsible for yours. Doing things out of obligation only breeds bitterness and resentment. Doing things from a space of mutual love, is very different to obligation. - Putting others needs before our own. As women, we are natural care givers and often we over give thinking our families need it, our work/business needs it, our spouses/family/friends need it. Really? According to who? That burnout, stress and tiredness you’re feeling is a by-product of a lesson we have yet to learn. - Saying “yes” when you mean “no” or agreeing to something to keep the peace. There is no peace inside when you’re at war with yourself. Respectfully expressing your opinions and perspectives may trigger those who are not emotionally ready, however the ones who you want grow along with you, will work with you to navigate through triggers and difficult emotions. - Staying in unhealthy relationships (this includes marriages, friendships, family, business/work relationships). No amount of “more love” or “more sacrifice” will make someone else see or appreciate you more, until we recognize that this may be a pattern that is calling to be healed. - Doing anything out of fear or lack consciousness like seeking outside validation, wanting to be accepted and approved of by another, or worry that people may judge you or leave you, etc. When we place so much emphasis on things outside yourself, we take the focus away from our lessons, growth and development.

I speak so passionately about these things because I was there for too long and learnt many painful lessons. If you’re there you can heal and evolve if you’re ready to do the inner work. To give in healthy ways, begins with self understanding and giving to yourself in healthy ways first. How else would we recognize know how to have our needs met from others or how others should treat us when we do not treat ourselves well? I am so grateful that so many of my clients have unlearnt these very disempowering beliefs and been empowered to no longer deny, betray and abandon themselves. Furthermore because their relationships with themselves have changed, all their relationships have evolved because they love from a state of being and love. This evolution comes in various forms; a new beginning, a painful ending, a deeper continuation, each serving a divine purpose to help you become more soul aligned. A continuous purification of the false self (nafs) as you journey back to your fitrah (original condition).

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